Short answer:
A cat is a highly optimized chaos-powered biological machine.
Longer answer:
Welcome to your quick bootstrap for understanding cats. This guide distills the essential knowledge about how cats work, why they do what they do, and how they decided humans were acceptable.
Cats are:
- A predator in a domestic shell
- A physics exploit with fur
- Emotionally independent but socially bonded
- Half roommate, half ancient deity
Where to Start:
New to cats? Start with Core Systems Overview to understand the fundamentals.
Curious about behavior? Learn Why Cats Love Boxes, Why They Sit on Keyboards, or Why They Bring You “Gifts”.
Understanding communication? Discover Why Cats Act Like They Don’t Care and Do Cats Know Their Names.
Deep lore? Explore How Cats Decided Humans Were Useful and Does Your Cat Think It Owns You.
⚛️ OFFICIAL DOCUMENTATION ⚛️
Certified by the Intergalactic Council of Feline Affairs
Recent Topics
Core Systems Overview
How a cat works - the fundamental operating systems
Why Cats Love Boxes
Safety, warmth, and tactical advantage in one cheap cardboard package
Why Cats Sit on Keyboards
A multi-objective optimization problem involving heat, height, and attention hijacking
Why Cats Act Like They Don't Care (But Absolutely Do)
Cats express affection sideways, not directly
How Cats Decided Humans Were Useful
Cats domesticated themselves through strategic mutual benefit
Why Cats Bring You "Gifts"
Intentional social behavior: teaching, sharing, and provision
Why Cats Wake You Up Before Your Alarm
Crepuscular biology meets routine integrity
Why Cats Stare at You While You Sleep
Protection, bond monitoring, and ownership audits
Does Your Cat Think It Owns You?
Yes. But not in a cruel way.
Why Cats Knead You Like Dough
Muscle memory from infancy plus emotional regulation
Why Cats Chirp at Birds
Buffer overrun in the predator module
Why Cats Bite Gently and Then Leave
Petting-induced overstimulation and boundary communication
Do Cats Understand Their Own Names?
Yes. They just decline to comply.